It's time to end the gender wars in domestic violence
September 9, 3:31 PM
Kayla Wardlow
, written on September 5th, I have been bombarded with emails and comments, and I've come to a conclusion.
Either my point wasn't clear, or people have chosen to use an article they never read to promote their agenda.
In hopes that it was my murky point, I'd like to clarify.
Guys,
I am not a crusader in the war against male abuse. I will not quote statistics that can be easily contradicted by other "official statistics". In fact, I choose not to quote statistics at all.
Why? Because if every study was true and contained all of the same considerations, every statistic would say the exact same thing. Instead you find some studies quoting 85-15, 50-50, 37-63, 67-33 and on and on and on. It all depends on what information you use, and how you use it.
So, get off the statistic train already. I've read them, and I still don't care.
Gals,
Yes, women are abused too. I know! We all know! I personally have been, and it sucked. I had to fight to get the police and the court system to even listen to what happened after my ex lied and basically set me up to look crazy. If you wanna hear the story go here
, here
, here
, here
, oh and here
. So we can skip the "do you even know what being abused is like?" section of the comments, thank you.
You have to lay off the statistics, at least here. Like I told the guys, I don't care.
Oh my gosh, statistics are so important because...
Ok, I get it. They have their place in this world. Fortunately my articles follow the rules of Pluto, which deems people (Plutonians? ) more important then words or numbers.
And this is the point people stop reading, and start commenting.
For those who are actually reading the words I write, thank you. Though it seems to be common sense (if it's written, it will be read) many are completely ignoring what is said here, and jumping to their own conclusions.
Here's my conclusion:
Gentlemen, for all your spouting of "radical feminism", by considering the issue of male abuse more important then female abuse, you are doing the exact same thing you're outraged over.
Ladies, we are not all kind, gentle creatures. Want proof? Click here
. Not saying Ms. Laurer is an abuser, just that she's ferocious, lol.
Gentlemen, do you have any idea what an uphill battle it has been to bring domestic violence against women and children into the forefront of important issues? You should, because you're facing the same battle these days. Think of how long it has been going on, and how it still isn't always taken seriously even today. Now, thinking of it that way, remember, it's a battle to bring the issue of male abuse too. But knocking down, or dismissing the very real crimes against women and children is not going to help your cause. In fact, it makes you look like jerks.
Ladies, if you've ever been told you are lying, if you've ever had a police officer, or court system refuse to believe you, even if you've been believed and aided in escaping the abuse, you know how it feels. You know it's a fight sometimes. You know women have been fighting for years and years to put this issue out there, to get help, to arrange all the resources we have today, even if it's still not enough. Why would you think thats more important, simply because you are a woman? By claiming you deserve more then men who are abused, simply because you are female, you also look like a jerk.
Quit it with the gender wars already! Each human, Martian and Plutonian deserves equal treatment.
This does mean equitable by the way. Should there be 50 percent of shelters for men, and 50 percent for women? Only if they are both used to their capacity. If men only use 25% of the services, fund 25%. If woman only use 25%, fund 25%. Save the other 50% for when more is needed, on either side.
Heck, build shelters for both. According to this comment:
"One of the main objectives for starting a helpline that specializes in offering supportive services to men in relationships with abusive women was to prove the need. Windu Derita is correct when she writes that when services are available men (just like women)will use them. Abused men require most if not all of the same services that women do. What Mz. Pigg may not realize is that there are at least two shelters that I know of personally that house abused women and men together. It must work because one shelter has been doing so for over 17 years and the other for 11 years. The argument that you can not house men (as well as adolescent boys) and women together because women are afraid of men just doesn't fly. Abused women may fear abusive men, but certainly not all men. If that argument held water then abused lesbians could not be housed with other women and the same would hold true for gay men. Thanks very much for the mention Kayla and for taking on this topic. "
It was signed Jan Brown. Hey, we all know the comments are anonymous, so it may not have been the Jan Brown I mentioned (if so, I'm completely flattered you read the article!) but even if it's not, it makes a lot of sense.
Ladies and Gentlemen, we need to work together to prevent all domestic abuse, or any abuse from occurring. Get over your gender, and help the people who need it.
No Response to "End the gender wars in domestic violence"
Leave A Reply