My brother is going through the Family Law Court system, but I guess that’s not quite right as the whole family has really been put through the mill as grandmother, great-grandmother, aunty and father have all had sleepless nights, worried and been excluded from the child’s life. 

All this is on the say so-of a bitter young woman and a court system that sanctions and encourages kidnapping by the parental mother — strong words, but what else could you call it?

My brother separated from his partner and mother of his child after she had an affair.

The separation was as most are of that nature, loud and painful for those involved.

Within a week of separation my brother had seen a lawyer about custody rights for his child and so it began.

We had no idea then, but it would be 10 months before my brother would see his daughter again and even then in less than ideal circumstances.

The Family Centre

They phone the mother and ask if she wants to mediate about custody and visitation. The mother says “no” and that’s the end of that.

The Legal Aid lawyer

What a joke she was. She lost paperwork, she would take two weeks to return phone calls, numerous calls were eventually answered with “we are making progress” or “call back and we will give you a court date”.

This nonsense went on from July to December before my brother in sheer frustration went to her office and refused to move until he had a court date. Funnily enough they then got one that day.

The first court appearance

The first court appearance was a week before Christmas.

My brother had been told by his lawyer that he should be awarded phone calls and a couple of hours on Christmas Day. Yes, now we were getting somewhere, or so we thought.

The magistrate said it wasn’t important enough to hear this case before Christmas and adjourned it until the end of January, no phone calls and no visit on Christmas Day. What a cruel decision for both father and daughter.

At this stage my brother hadn’t seen or heard from his daughter since last July; he had missed her third birthday, Father’s Day and Christmas. He had a few very loud words to say to his barrister, not a good idea as now every time we go back to court we are all flanked by guards, like we are criminals.

Court-ordered mediation

I have no idea why it’s called mediation as the mediators have no concept of what the word means. This is what happens:

The woman is encouraged to have an army of support people go in with her, but we didn’t know anyone could go in with my brother.

We were told it was a one-on-one between the mediator and my brother.

I guess the mediators with the men don’t like to have witnesses to their performances. My brother’s mediator asked him what he wanted to achieve.

He said in the long term shared custody, but today just phone calls and some visits. The mediator laughed at him and told him he wouldn’t get any of that.

My brother’s ex partner (in another room) just said a simple “no” to everything and off she went, she didn’t even hang around.

Meanwhile my brother was given the impression that he was worthless and had no rights by the mediator.

Where to now?

At this stage we realised we had no hope of getting anywhere. We decided as a family to pass the hat around and pay for a good lawyer.

After four months and numerous court appearances we got no further, so that’s been pretty much a waste of money too.

The lawyer goes in and says his bit and the magistrate says what was already decided to say. We have been told after every court appearance that my brother had grounds for appeal, but it would cost $6000.

My brother lives in the city and his family lives in the country, but we have made the trip to support him for each court visit and when we’re back home we ring him a few times a day to keep his hopes up.

It’s been an absolute nightmare for us all, but the magistrate certainly gives the impression of not caring less about my brother, his daughter, his family or the rights we thought we had as family of this child.

Months have ticked away while my brother is still forbidden any contact with his child for no reason other than the mother is bitter and wants revenge.

Meanwhile, the mother of his child has been encouraged to put anything and everything that any man has ever done wrong to any woman in her affidavit.

There are not enough hours in the day for him to have done all the things she has fabricated.

My mother loves her granddaughter as any grandmother does and has bought her the world, but no the court has been told in the affidavit that my mother has never bought the child anything or been a part of her life, just ridiculous.

The hardest lies of all are that my brother had no relationship with his daughter and that my mother never bought anything for her grandchild or cared about her in any way.

Was my brother a perfect partner, probably not, but he is a great dad and his daughter is the centre of his world, his little princess. Since this started he has a pair of his daughter’s shoes hanging off his rear view mirror all the time.

Everyone has heard stories about the Family Law Court but that the discrimination against men and their children is so ingrained, so open, so accepted and exists on all levels is mind blowing.

Our lawyer told us that the aim of all the adjournments is to mentally, physically and financially wear the father of the child down and then a large percentage of them give up the fight, unable to cope with continuing.

One of our adjournments was granted by the magistrate because the Legal Aid lawyer representing my brother’s ex-partner said she could not get the funding to photocopy some documents she needed for the court? What utter rubbish.

At the end of April, my brother got to see his daughter for the first time in 10 months at a supervision centre for two hours, but we are all so excited for him.

Our lawyer told him that as it’s been such a long time, his daughter may be quiet and shy, but that kids come around quickly and not to worry. We are all so worried by what her vindictive mother has told her.

The day before the visit my brother is told that his daughter has been into the centre for a look and tells staff that she is very excited to be seeing her daddy. She’s three and a half years old now.

When she walks through the door and sees her daddy she hurtles towards him and jumps, she then spends two hours nattering and telling him what to do.

They are allowed to take a couple of photos, but no more than that; he still has no rights as a father.

The centre staff tell him before the visit he is allowed to bring her a present, so he brings her a big bunny and a photo of them together for her to take home.

He tells her that they will see each other again in two weeks and then she will be able to come and see him at his place before too long.

The worker at the centre tells him off; he isn’t allowed to give his daughter any sort of hope that she has a father who cares and loves her.

The ex-partner tells the centre she will be taking nothing from the visit home, the photo of father and daughter is wrenched from the daughter’s hands as she sobs. Father and daughter both leave crying.

No victory for commonsense or decency here.

What the hell does the court system and these women think they are achieving by doing this to fathers and their children — a better world?

We have heard other stories the same while we have been going to court, so it’s unfortunately not isolated.

The whole family law system needs ditching, and those women working in it who think they have found the ideal job to vent their frustrations on men need ousting quick smart.

Of the last 500 cases that our magistrate has heard, I’ve heard that 400 have been overturned on appeal. Who else would keep their job with a record like that?

The advice I have for fathers who love their children is if you think your relationship is going to end, and there are children involved, go straight to your nearest lawyer and take your kids with you, because the Family Law Court is not interested in fathers or their kids, they are very big on gaining revenge for the mother at all costs.

A magistrate will listen to not one word the man or his family have to say. Everything, no matter how absurd or impossible or just plain untrue that the woman says, will be taken as sworn truth. Obviously she would not lie, she is the picture of sainthood.

The Family Report

We thought the worst was behind us, enter the Family Report.

Foolishly thinking that this document would only back up what the supervision centre had already said about my brother and his daughter getting on so well, we were very wrong.

If you can’t get him on the supervised centre report it’s time to bring in a court-appointed social worker, who will have no qualms whatsoever about about writing a lethal report.

Does anyone know what to do when the social worker that does the family report takes in the truth and turns it out in the form of a report that has no resemblance to the truth? What to do when they twist the truth and when that’s not enough, just fabricate?

What can be done? We thought there would be an avenue of complaint, but no this man can write anything he wants and put it straight in front of the magistrate as truth.

Anywhere else in society this form of slander would be met with legal action, but not Family Law Court.

My brother has a brilliant supervised centre report which we were told was very important; it now turns out that is to be ignored.

The social worker wrote pages of utter rubbish, some of the statements made are not even within his realm of knowledge. They are statements that a qualified psychologist would need to make.

A bad Family Report also cuts off any Legal Aid funding the father has, quite nicely just before the trial that now will cost us $5000 if we pay it.

Let me give you some examples:

The truth: My brother was asked if he ever took drugs. My brother, wanting to be honest, told him he had tried dope when he was a teenager, and hasn’t taken drugs since. Translation in Family Report: He had a serious drug problem when he was younger.

The truth: My family has driven 550km to be there at every court and mediation hearing for the last year; we phone him everyday to keep his spirits up. Translation in Family Report: He has no family support.

The truth: His daughter jumps up down and yells “there’s my daddy”. Translation in Family Report: No real relationship with daughter.

I want to know if there is any hope, any chance that a magistrate sometime soon will wake up to what this young woman is up to and stop tearing apart a father and daughter who love each other dearly. That’s what I want to know.

Any chance there is a lawyer out there who could care less, not that my brother can get Legal Aid, the social worker made sure of that, not a cracker to his name and a trial in two months, any ideas on that either?

There is a four-year-old girl in the middle that the Family Law Court is hell bent on tearing from her father. Why?